12.18.2007: Keys to being frugal

When you’re making $8.50 an hour washing dishes.

When your freelance checks never arrive in your mailbox.

When you’ve got rent to pay, plus TV, Internet, electricity, water and newspaper monthly bills.

Yes, you have to be extremely frugal to get by.

So here, for anyone interested, are my keys to frugality:

— Absolutely no buying of clothes except for socks and boxers.
— Related to the above, get enough socks and boxers to only have to do laundry once a month; you can do it in two loads.
— Never turn the thermostat above 65, which really isn’t that cold to begin with.
— Drive a car that gets at least 35 mpg, but only drive when you can’t bike.
— If your workplace has food, eat as much as you can while there and bring some home to cut down on the need to buy groceries.
— Never use a light in the apartment unless needed. Turn off when done.
— Don’t buy a home phone. The only need for one is if there’s an emergency and you can’t tell the police your address.
— Rarely go out, and when you do, buy that night’s special.
— Use newspapers as wrapping paper.
— Never turn down a free meal.
— Use the apartment complex’s gym unless you work at a gym and get free access.
— Instead of buying books, join a library.
— Never eat out.
— Don’t date.
— Limit your friends. The more of them, the more you spend.
— Don’t travel.
— And, finally, never buy gas when it’s more than $3.00 a gallon. Be patient.

Unfortunately, I can’t say I’ve abided by all the rules listed above. As a result, I’ve volunteered to work Christmas Day — I normally don’t work Tuesdays — if anyone wants off.

Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Talk to you next week,

Jake